In my mid-twenties, when falling in love was still irresistibly frosted and angelic, I scribbled on paper several of my odd and idiosyncratic tendencies to give ‘him’ (whoever ‘he’ was) a better understanding of my strangeness.
I found the list, over a dozen years later, and I was utterly staggered by what I read.
- I like to talk to inanimate objects
- I have an odd affection for my car
- My nose bleeds at the slightest whiff of trouble
- I sleep with a teddy bear
- I have an aversion for underwear, but adore socks
- I squeeze the toothpaste tube all over the place
- I cry. Whenever.
- I have an enduring, intense love affair with water
- I’m a tad neat (that’s my version of it, don’t ask me to acknowledge its dogmatic nature)
- I easily and readily amuse myself
- I’m obsessed with growing anything green (of legal status, of course) but somehow unintentionally torture and kill nearly all things originating from a seed
- My spirit is reflected in a butterfly in flight
- My heart is found at sea
- I giggle when it’s inappropriate
- I need more attention than most… and willingly whine for it
- Music moves me… dancing is the best drug ever
- I get excited over the littlest of things
- Nothing affects me lightly- emotions run through me like molasses
- I have an unhealthy adoration for the Boston Red Sox (and Fenway Park), seagulls, pine trees, the dunes of Plum Island, sailboats and fishermen wearing tall pea-green rubber boots, whale watching, trains, bagels, buttercup flowers, cross country skiing, lazy Sundays, a good margarita, an endless kiss, and the ever-inspiring ocean
- I don’t care what anyone says or what history proves… I believe in love everlasting, unconditional (no ameliorate required), and the faith that two people can be in love (with each other, in case that was unclear) for a lifetime
- Lastly, I possess an unquenchable thirst to experience my passions.
I realize, these many years later that I allowed too much of that to be put aside… or more accurately, put away. Veiled. Somewhere along the way, I let myself settle into a mediocrity, which was notably void of my quirks, my insanity… absent of my vibrant spirit and my true essence.
Then and there I made a commitment to myself to re-capture the thrill of my passions and peculiarities, and wear, again, my odd appeals. Too often the vibrant colors, which uniquely define the fabric of our being, fade to more recognizable, socially-accepted hues.
We let the brilliancy within us slip away. It’s then that people frequently turn to children, television, and Hollywood blockbusters for their animated fix, becoming an observer of ecstasy- no longer a participant in its innocent delight.
Anything fervent and overzealous is, in many social circles, damned and dismissed. We start dressing ourselves in the shame given to us by disapproving adults who long ago packed away their own silliness, taking it upon themselves to dole out substantial disfavor of the fanatical, the comedy, and of the character of a splendidly lived life, in an effort to conceal their envy.
Settling into appropriate behavior is a way of resigning from your bold and distinctively created self. Too much of our authentic being is sacrificed. Unique interests and inspirations are unredeemed, in order to make room for traditional endeavors.
I’m happiest when living life in its most inquisitive form, with unending lust, and adventure (while still remaining financially solvent, showering daily, and keeping copies of bank records for the IRS… I’m not entirely a recusant). There are rare and pyrotechnic qualities in all of us. Sadly, some people root themselves into a routine, going their near century long life never tapping into the most remarkable of their existence.
You may just find that the journey is much more fulfilling when enthusiasm is unleashed, boundaries challenged, and creativity set free. When you delight in your peculiarities, your true self emerges.
In living our passions, we most certainly will experience failure, brokenness, fallen fate, and diminution of our sensibility. Don’t cave into conventionality because of the struggle. Keep your passion-fueled fire ablaze. Be brave. Be humbled. And continue to conquer the unfamiliar frontier. In time, the upsets will not be so monumental, and the extraordinary will become more appetizing.
Remind yourself daily to strive for the unattainable, believe in the unthinkable, and invest your spirit in powerful pursuits. And live your magnificently questionable oddities, with a cunning smile.