The moistness of the air and the early rise of the sun signify that the anticipation has passed. Summer is here, fully outfitted. I jogged my normal seaside course in the remarkable quietness that comes on lazy Sundays when hangovers beg for sleep, readers finger through plump newspapers, over-achievers exhale, and pajama-clad families perform their ritual of consuming bagels, fresh juice, and zany kid shows.
Straggly dogs stroll ahead of disheveled owners garbed in yesterday’s khakis and flip flops, drinking their favorite sweet coffee. A smattering of surfers drift just off shore- eyeing the breaks, riding waves, laying back and grubbing.
The ocean often looks solemn at dawn. Slate blue, unanimated, and yet coyly playful. I gaze out across the glassy horizon of water in search of dolphins. Then comes a sensation of pure awe when the pelicans glide inaudibly overhead, descending to the ocean, majestic in their traverse flight mere inches above the water’s surface. A show of daring and brilliance.
I watch nature’s wondrous milieu with a surge of gratitude. And with a precise awareness that in my life, there has been no moment like this one. Sans conflict and complications. No burden. Better yet, no heart grief.
There is, instead, purity in the creative unfolding. A simplicity in daily life that I’ve never known. There is reading and conversation and exploration of the world around me.
There is an arousal of the artist within.
The thought of abandoning this new-found journey to again adorn myself in polished shoes and pressed blouses, hunting the almighty dollar, causes a thundering in my soul, and a chill in my bones. With tremendous fierceness and determination, I want to experience this potent and inspirational phase.
Recently finding myself devoid of an office and phone extension, I engaged in a Q&A with myself on what my life should now become. What should the next chapter be fashioned after. My immediate assumption was that I had to take from all that I experienced- both arduous and audacious- to shape my future. But in time I began to realize that this is not about a new chapter.
It’s not about designing an extension from what has already been written. It wasn’t necessary, or prudent, to reverberate experiences previously lived.