My Vistas

I lost myself in the midst of chasing a dream. Failed to acknowledge its sacrifice and solitude. I let aspiration, aim, and ambition take center stage… casting far too long of a shadow over the true meaning of life. I can see now the how, and when, and where precious parts of myself were fractured. The vision of tomorrow is never more clear than when looking back at it.

Finding Beautiful

Posted by on Sep 16, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

Finding Beautiful

The rock-laden shores of New England remain the most captivating and heartfelt images in my mind as I cast my inner vision to the life that trails behind me.  I am connected to the Northeast corner of America in a wistful way, or maybe more like a barnacle on the belly of a fishing boat. However held, I simply cannot detach myself from the memories, both picturesque and pathetic. I spent most of the years in my preppy teen-hood through to my present day prudent adult-hood residing in non-New England cities mapped in the mid-Atlantic, South,...

read more

Newspaper Nauseau

Posted by on Aug 17, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

Newspaper Nauseau

If I want to do a number on my sense of happiness and trash what contentedness lies inside my inner sanctuary of single life, one perusal of the “Weddings / Celebrations” page of the New York Times Sunday edition is all it takes. There it is. Captured in smiling snapshots- portraits of pure bliss with perfect teeth.  Love told in three or four tidy paragraphs, each one detailing the perfection of the fortunate couple’s life, their union, and the inevitable anticipation of ever after. “He” is an up and coming executive in an industry where...

read more

Haunted Heights

Posted by on Jul 23, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

Haunted Heights

Time and silence hang heavy in the darkened air… Dripping like Spanish moss off ancient oaks. ~ Heartbeat keeping time… Unchanged by the theatrics of our existence. ~ Staged events… Puppets dance all around me. ~ Both actors and audience steadfastly play their parts… Lacking chance and missing emotions. ~ Only the distant music sinks underneath my soft skin… The melody speaks while the lyrics set the rhythm. ~ The intensity heightens… My intentions rise with equal abandon. ~ If I seek harmony and...

read more

Honeyeyed Dreamer

Posted by on Jul 23, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

Honeyeyed Dreamer

Inspire, as a honeyed dreamer… Cede the imagination, free… Ignite uncensored laughter… Be reduced to absurdity. ~ ~ ~ Authenticate your principles… Stand firm without fears… Recognize your true friends… Don’t fail their anguished tears. ~ ~ ~ Relish in the possibilities… Roll dice in the game of chance… Be awed by the odyssey… Discover rhythm in the dance. ~ ~ ~ Lay in the shade of an angel… Admire her beauty, sugared grace… Feel the harmony of nature… Allow passion to...

read more

Departing Myself

Posted by on Jul 23, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

Departing Myself

I remember the moment when I washed off the perfectionist make up, for good.  Eye liner of attitude, the lipstick that lacked appreciation, the rouge of rigidness, the concealer of conceit, the mascara of materialism, and the foundation of flawlessness… artfully dabbed across the cheekbone, disguising a false image, and in no means a tasteful one at that. I remember when I stopped living a counterfeit life behind layers of applied ignorance. It was on a freshly blossomed April day. I sat at an outside cafe, just a block from the blue-green...

read more

Lifetime Warranty

Posted by on Jun 6, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

Lifetime Warranty

I have come to the conclusion that every “thing” is made to break soon after acquiring it.  More precisely, soon after buying it.  Once monetarily committed, we naively think that we are now in possession of the ‘thing’, in good working condition, for years to come.  What a rude awakening to have it abruptly break down some time before your next oil change is due. Take my cell phone, as an example.  I won’t name the major, national company which sold me the self-destructive piece of crap (think track runner), but its safe to say upper...

read more

I’m No IM

Posted by on Jun 5, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

I’m No IM

The post-it notes, cards and letters stay with me. An envisage of yellow squares and inked valor remain in the still frames of my mind. I remember his clean neatly printed love notes… carefully set in all the places my gaze would happen to fall. Humorous. Sweet. Romantic. Reassuring. Simple. I’ve blocked out most all of the memories- of him, and us – but those damn pastel messages still seem to have editorial rights in my head. I believed those words until his departure had me wondering what written word could I ever...

read more

Composition of Your Signature

Posted by on May 23, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

Composition of Your Signature

Jelly Belly.  That was one of many ‘sweet’ terms of endearment others used when teasing and taunting me in those oh-so-memorable pre-teen years.  Jelly Belly was the all-star nickname among several I was given.  While I thrived on the attention, my confidence lost its footing in the quicksand of playful jabs.  In truth (and evident in a variety of family photos), I was a well-shaped, fit young girl with an appropriate physique, but it was a wholesome image which disappeared from my sight as I internalized the constant mockery, and swallowed...

read more

Seaside

Posted by on May 20, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

Seaside

Somewhere between yesterday and forever I stand barefoot on this salt-licked shore Gazing out at crystal blue waters Read More Realizing all that surrounds me And all that I am Is the life I have been given And I smile a little Knowing its mine to adore Giving pieces of myself To those who wander by I want to make this journey Through layers of time An endless adventure Filled with wonderment and joy I want the strength to love wholly And the courage to seek my destiny To discover life’s contrasting colors And myriad of hues inside the...

read more

X-Chromosome Opinions

Posted by on May 3, 2013 in My Vistas | 0 comments

X-Chromosome Opinions

I am supposed to be married.  I’m quite sure of it.  I’m pretty and fit… healthy and vibrant… I love animals, nature and children… I’m kind and I don’t swear… I rarely drink and have never tried illegal substances of any kind… I’m outgoing, personable, bright blah, blah, blah.  I just know that I’m supposed to be in a wedding album somewhere, wearing a lot of white lace and superbia. Based on statistical data collected over decades, I should be knee-deep in anniversaries right about now.  I should be driving something with a ‘V’ in its name,...

read more